Better

A third grade Junior High School girl came home from school enthusiastically. She brought a pretest score for her final national exam. She got top five score among all of the students. She was so satisfied. It was her highest rank ever from several pretest exam.

At home, she showed her score to her father and showed the list of rank score in her school. "Look! I got fifth rank! I never achieve this before," the girl said to her father. She felt like she just achieved something remarkable.

"Then who are the top four?" her father asked. The girl then pointed to the score list and mentioned her schoolmates. "It means there are still four students better than you," said the father without any little smile.

Wait, what? It was not what the girl wanted to hear from her father. Instead of appreciating her for getting a better score, he just said that there were students better that her.

She cried. She felt so hurt by what her father just said. She already did her best for the exam pretest so she could achieve a better score, but her father did not appreciate it anyway. 

But then she studied again and prepared for the real final exam. She did not expect much. Her score in pretest was enough to make her confident to face the real final exam. 

When the final exam result was released, the girl was shocked to know that her score was the highest among all of the students. She could not believe that the real score was more than what she had expected. This was her first rank ever since she went to school. Even got a top five was her precious achievement.

And when the father found his daughter finally got the first rank, he gave his smile to her. And that's enough for the girl to realize that what her father said at that time actually built a special strength and motivation to her unconsciously. And it worked.

It could not be inferred that it was a good way in motivating child, anyway. Some fathers probably have another ways and it works too. It was not about what kind of way that work well, but what kind of way that suitable to the character of the child. It was all about how well the parents know their child.

The girl realized that the lesson that her father just taught her was about being not too much in any kind of situation. We don't need to be proud too much when we achieve something, and also not to desperate too much when we regret something.

@kusdwilestarin

It’s a Girl !

Sunday morning 1990, a 35 years old man was sitting nervously in a waiting room of a hospital. Her wife was in a process of giving birth for his second child. Deep inside his heart, he really wished that the baby would be a girl to complete his little family with a son and a daughter after a long wait. 

A Long Wait

This was seven years after his first child born. This man and his wife were actually planned to have another baby since their son was 2 years old. She was actually pregnant for second baby as planned. But on the third month pregnancy, the fetus misscarried. They were sad, but still tried to have a baby again. 2 years later, his wife was pregnant again. But still, the baby did not come to the world. 3 years later, his wife was pregnant again. The man took care of his wife much more carefully to avoid another unexpected thing. In his heart, he had two wishes to God. First, the baby would come to the world safely. And second, the baby would be a girl.

In a few months of pregnancy, The Wife was always in a painful situation every time the baby made a move. She sweated. She had to stop any activity she did and lay down on the bed. Although it was not her first pregnancy, she never felt so painful as this one. The motion was stronger that her first child. 

At that time, using scan to know the gender of the baby inside the belly was a high price for this family. So they chose to wait until baby born to know the gender. "I guess this one will be another baby boy," The Wife said to her husband. The Husband just smiled to his wife and took care of her. She knew that her husband was hiding his dissatisfaction. 

The Wish Come True
In the hospital, there were some patients that would give birth for their baby. After waiting for a while, The man heard a baby cried softly. He asked to the nurse, but it was not his baby. Then he heard the next baby crying. He asked again, yet it was not his baby. He started panic. Then after hours, he heard the third crying. The sound was so loud. Really loud. The husband started sweating. If that was really his baby, that strong cry sounded like a boy. 

He asked to the nurse again. Then the nurse said it was his wife who just gave a birth. And the nurse informed him that the baby was a girl. His face looked so happy. He can not hide the grateful expression. Once he was allowed to visit his wife, he gave a great hug to his wife. "Thank you," he said implicitly for giving birth a baby girl.

The man loved his daughter so much. He praised to God for the favor he got. God really fulfilled his wish although he had to wait until seven years and passed several trial. "If your mother did not get trouble with her pregnancies, you would never be in this world. But Allah already prepared you," The Man said to the little baby who obviously do not understand what he said. 

What if
Anyway, that kind of joy would never exist if it happened in the pre-islam generation. Before islam existed, people only expected baby boy. The born of a girl was a mistake for the father. Girl had no price at that time, and the family who had a girl would be humiliated. Some people even buried their baby alive just to avoid social humiliation (16:57-58).

It may seems awkward to talk about old generation and compared it to recent day. But to know that there was a terrible time for girls due to gender unfairness, now even just being a girl in this time is a favor. Moreover, to know that there was a long journey behind the birth of a baby from the story of the man and his wife, even just being born in this world is a great gift from the God.

@kusdwilestarin