Better

A third grade Junior High School girl came home from school enthusiastically. She brought a pretest score for her final national exam. She got top five score among all of the students. She was so satisfied. It was her highest rank ever from several pretest exam.

At home, she showed her score to her father and showed the list of rank score in her school. "Look! I got fifth rank! I never achieve this before," the girl said to her father. She felt like she just achieved something remarkable.

"Then who are the top four?" her father asked. The girl then pointed to the score list and mentioned her schoolmates. "It means there are still four students better than you," said the father without any little smile.

Wait, what? It was not what the girl wanted to hear from her father. Instead of appreciating her for getting a better score, he just said that there were students better that her.

She cried. She felt so hurt by what her father just said. She already did her best for the exam pretest so she could achieve a better score, but her father did not appreciate it anyway. 

But then she studied again and prepared for the real final exam. She did not expect much. Her score in pretest was enough to make her confident to face the real final exam. 

When the final exam result was released, the girl was shocked to know that her score was the highest among all of the students. She could not believe that the real score was more than what she had expected. This was her first rank ever since she went to school. Even got a top five was her precious achievement.

And when the father found his daughter finally got the first rank, he gave his smile to her. And that's enough for the girl to realize that what her father said at that time actually built a special strength and motivation to her unconsciously. And it worked.

It could not be inferred that it was a good way in motivating child, anyway. Some fathers probably have another ways and it works too. It was not about what kind of way that work well, but what kind of way that suitable to the character of the child. It was all about how well the parents know their child.

The girl realized that the lesson that her father just taught her was about being not too much in any kind of situation. We don't need to be proud too much when we achieve something, and also not to desperate too much when we regret something.

@kusdwilestarin

It’s a Girl !

Sunday morning 1990, a 35 years old man was sitting nervously in a waiting room of a hospital. Her wife was in a process of giving birth for his second child. Deep inside his heart, he really wished that the baby would be a girl to complete his little family with a son and a daughter after a long wait. 

A Long Wait

This was seven years after his first child born. This man and his wife were actually planned to have another baby since their son was 2 years old. She was actually pregnant for second baby as planned. But on the third month pregnancy, the fetus misscarried. They were sad, but still tried to have a baby again. 2 years later, his wife was pregnant again. But still, the baby did not come to the world. 3 years later, his wife was pregnant again. The man took care of his wife much more carefully to avoid another unexpected thing. In his heart, he had two wishes to God. First, the baby would come to the world safely. And second, the baby would be a girl.

In a few months of pregnancy, The Wife was always in a painful situation every time the baby made a move. She sweated. She had to stop any activity she did and lay down on the bed. Although it was not her first pregnancy, she never felt so painful as this one. The motion was stronger that her first child. 

At that time, using scan to know the gender of the baby inside the belly was a high price for this family. So they chose to wait until baby born to know the gender. "I guess this one will be another baby boy," The Wife said to her husband. The Husband just smiled to his wife and took care of her. She knew that her husband was hiding his dissatisfaction. 

The Wish Come True
In the hospital, there were some patients that would give birth for their baby. After waiting for a while, The man heard a baby cried softly. He asked to the nurse, but it was not his baby. Then he heard the next baby crying. He asked again, yet it was not his baby. He started panic. Then after hours, he heard the third crying. The sound was so loud. Really loud. The husband started sweating. If that was really his baby, that strong cry sounded like a boy. 

He asked to the nurse again. Then the nurse said it was his wife who just gave a birth. And the nurse informed him that the baby was a girl. His face looked so happy. He can not hide the grateful expression. Once he was allowed to visit his wife, he gave a great hug to his wife. "Thank you," he said implicitly for giving birth a baby girl.

The man loved his daughter so much. He praised to God for the favor he got. God really fulfilled his wish although he had to wait until seven years and passed several trial. "If your mother did not get trouble with her pregnancies, you would never be in this world. But Allah already prepared you," The Man said to the little baby who obviously do not understand what he said. 

What if
Anyway, that kind of joy would never exist if it happened in the pre-islam generation. Before islam existed, people only expected baby boy. The born of a girl was a mistake for the father. Girl had no price at that time, and the family who had a girl would be humiliated. Some people even buried their baby alive just to avoid social humiliation (16:57-58).

It may seems awkward to talk about old generation and compared it to recent day. But to know that there was a terrible time for girls due to gender unfairness, now even just being a girl in this time is a favor. Moreover, to know that there was a long journey behind the birth of a baby from the story of the man and his wife, even just being born in this world is a great gift from the God.

@kusdwilestarin

A Little Attack that Matter 2

The boys and the girls were still sitting on the floor. Some of them made a little talk in whispers. Yaa, i have done that too. They just felt the same when the topic they discussed was really close to their daily situation.

The discussion was just about the devil’s attack from the front. Then what kind of situation when they attack from the back? 

There was Anang who raised his hand to take turn. He started sharing. It was a weekday morning when he just finished the school exam. He felt like so reluctant to go to school. The lesson was over, so why should student keep going to school? But then he still prepared to go. He denied his thought and tried to keep being a good student. But when he was on his motorbike on the way to school, the bad thought came again. Why don’t just turn the destination to have something fun with friends? Then he suddenly changed her mind. He finally didn’t come to school.

Anang admitted that sometimes he failed to deny that kind of bad thought, although he knew that was satan’s whisper. They pulled human to not doing their good deeds. Human can easily identify their own situation, actually. Willing to wake up early in the morning, willing to not gossiping people, willing to stop the bad habit, willing to not repeat the past mistake after made taubah, but then failed. That's all the whispers that worked.

Then what about the left and the right side attack? Qonita came again with another story. She shared her situation at the dorm. She had to manage the younger girls, remain them to pray on time, to take bath, clean the room and obey the dorm’s rule. But she realized it hard to keep sabr facing the girls. Sometimes, she get angry to the girls. “First time I did that I felt so guilty actually, but then I did it again and again until i felt like I just can help my self to deal with the situation. That’s probably the attack from left side,” she conclude again. Whenever human get comfort or guiltless of any bad deed, that’s the attack from left side.

Finally, the attack from the right side is the hardest one. They attack through the good deed of human. Some people feel that they already in a good faith then have right to judge people which good or bad. But sometime, the way they tell others could be humiliating. It found a lot in social media.

Human have to tell the right things to the others. But at the same time, they do not allowed to hurt people. Imagine when a person lives in the circumstance that love doing ghibah. When he/she tell people to not doing that, he/she would probably become the odd one. So you are getting more religious now? That kind of comment would probably come up and people would avoid this person. Then what is the more appropriate way to deal with that situation? It probably depend on the ikhtiar of every human, and that is the art of being human. Wallahu a'lam

@kusdwilestarin 

A Little Thing that Matter

A young lady was already dressed up. She would have some weekend lunch with her family. But when everyone were ready in the living room, she didn't appear. She messed up the bedroom, opened up the pillow and any stuffs on the table. She was looking for her glasses. She couldn't go without that stuff.

Minutes passed and she didn't find the glasses. "Wait! I'm looking for my glasses," she said. She was getting frustrated.

"Say Bismillah, aunty. Ask help to Allah," said a 3 years old boy. The lady was surprised of her niece's words. Her face turned softer. She laughed. "Yea.. Bismillahirrohmanirrohim, Ya Allah show me my glasses Ya Allah," the lady followed the boy's suggestion. Finally, she found her glasses just under her blanket.

What the boy said was probably sound ridiculous for adults. He just practiced the lesson taught by his family. He was taught to ask help to Allah SWT for any difficulties. He probably recorded his experience when he wanted to watch tv but didn't find the remote control. His grandma, who actually knew where's that stuff, said to say Bismillah and ask Allah for help. Then after he did that, his grandma put the remote control near him and let him find it.

When this boy was like find a similar case like what happened to him, he directly suggested the same thing. He thought that if it worked on him when he looked for his stuff, it would work on his aunty too.

That 'little thing' was actually not a new lesson to an adult like that young lady. She knew that as a muslim, she should start anything by saying Bismillah. And whenever she got any difficulties, it is Allah SWT, the only one who can help. Adults taught any good lessons to the kids because they already knew those all things. But sometimes, they forget that lesson when it came to a 'little thing'. 

The story of the boy and his aunty was just one of various ‘little things’. There're still a lot of little things that matter. Most adults say to the kids to eat and drink in a sitting position, using the right hand, and making dua first. They teach the kids to say Bismillah before start anything, say Assalamualaikum when they meet people, never talk loudly to people, and many others. Why? because they understand that the sunnah said so. But how many times adults practice it for themselves?

By the way, why should every single muslim’s activity have rules? Then what happen to people who keep following the sunnah in every single things in their life? Do their life get better? Did the young lady would keep lose her glasses if she didn’t call Allah SWT?

She would still find her glasses, probably. But the thing is, when she called Allah SWT, it means she involved the one who have the greatest care to help her. What happen to people who involved the one who really credible in their problem? They will be relax. Why? Because they’re sure that the one they involved would not regret them. So do the lady. Remember when the little boy’s suggestion easily change her face? She even could laugh after being frustrated. It was not only because the suggestion come from a little boy, but indeed she realized that she forget that ‘little things’.

The problem was still there, she still need to find up her glasses by herself, but one thing that changed was her heart. Her heart affected her feeling. Then her feeling affected the way she do something, the way she seek her stuff.

@kusdwilestarin

A Little Attack that Matter

Qonita started her story. She shared about her difficult situation in college to her friends. One day, she failed to submit a group task because she couldn’t finish it until the due date. She realized that was her mistake, and thought her group would blame her. And ya, her thought was right. Her group, that dominated with boys, blamed her so harsh. She apologized, but it didn’t help. They keep blamed her until she cried in class. And that was a really bad day for her.

The following day, when she prepared to go to college as usual, she started to think, if she came to college then met her friends who blamed her in the class, she would get mocked. She became worry. Her mind was full of ‘what if’ questions. Finally, she decided to skip the class.

“That’s probably the attack from the front,” She concluded. Qonita was in a evening discussion with her dorm mates in orphanage. The discussion was about the satan’s attack. Before Qonita shared her story, there was Zahra who shared the origin story of why satan attack human.

The concept of satan’s attack comes from the human creation ‘episode’. Based on Quran, there was a ‘meeting’ where Allah SWT announced the angels that He would create a human being as khalifa on earth. Zahra fluently mentioned Al Baqarah 30 that contained that information. The angels, who actually questioned that statement in advance, keep obeying Allah when they asked to make sajada after Allah created human (2:34).

But wait. Actually at that human creation announcement, there was jin who also invited to that meeting. When Allah SWT announced that awesome ‘project’ which the angels asked Allah SWT why it should be human, the invited jin didn’t make any comment. But what he did? He kept the thought in mind. Then, when the ‘human project’ is really launched, and Allah SWT asked angels to make sajada, the jin refused to do it. Why?

“I am better than human. You created me from fire, and created human from clay,” Satan said (7:12).

Then Allah SWT descend the jin from jannah to the hellfire because of his arrogant. Wait. Why? How can it be my mistake? You made me from fire then now i get easily ‘on fire’ because You created human, then i should get punished? that probably the way satan blamed Allah SWT when he got punished. Then jin asked Allah for reprieve until the day of judgement. “Because you have put me in error, i will surely in wait for them on Your straight path,” satan said(7:16).

From that story, people can inferred that jealousy, comparing, anger, blaming, is the nature of satan. Furthermore, in Al Araf 17, jin said that he will attack human from the front, behind, right side, and left side.

Attack from the front could be a worry feeling when human want do something good. Qonita’s story is just one of the real example. Some people maybe worry about anything else in future, such as what if i didn’t pass the exam? What if i didn’t get a job? What if i lose people that i love? It’s all about the what if question that ever come in human mind. Then what’s next after human get worry of their future? Some people maybe depressed, feel weak, and life un peacefully.

(to be continued, inshaAllah)

@kusdwilestarin
inspired by Nouman Ali khan